condom vending machines spell trouble

italy (and probably the rest of europe) is pretty sensual and sexual. so it's no biggie for them to have condom vending machines. which for me, is pretty practical. it's a sign that says "hello, please don't have random sex without protection", it eases embarrassment so that cashiers (i.e. real human beings) don't have to ring it up for you in front of an audience of nosy, judgmental people, plus if you wanna have sex in public, easy to obtain, right?

well, me being from the boondocks and from a fairly conservative country, i wanted to take a picture of the vending machine in montecatini.

oh god, mortification.

just as i pressed the shutter button, this really cute italian guy pops up and says"yeah! that's cool, isn't it?" well, i forget the words but the gist of it was he was approving and hitting on me at the same time. which would have been flattering because he was cute.

except we were in front of a condom vending machine. and hitting on someone in front of one is extremely dubious and makes you think that yes, he's after ONE thing and i'll give you three guesses what. and my parents were across the street.

so yes. it was mortifying. i literally turned redder than anything.

another side note. there's something to respect about italians. yes, they are probably the Catholic country in the world (namely because the Vatican is there) but i think they accept divorce. their way of thinking is that their bottom line? loyalty. they'd prefer that you separate rather than cheat, on your spouse and family.

which is exactly what i think. you have to respect that.

the familiar is ignored

there must be a quote out there talking about how the most familiar things become ordinary and unnoticeable.

well, for italy, it was like beauty was ignored. or they're just so used to having the most incredible painting, the most graceful sculptures, the most vivid frescoes on every street, alley, corner, building that they don't need to see it anymore.

how can they live like that???

that's spoken with envy, not derision, by the way. if i lived in italy, i can't imagine how many cameras i'd wear out, memory i'd consume, money i'd spend on for film and pictures. i couldn't possibly ever get used to seeing a fountain and just seeing a fountain, not the art on it.

part of me was open-mouthed over the art, and the other was amazed that the italians were just passing it by. i held up traffic, looking at the stuff on the walls. they just breezed by. next to it, were spray-painted graffiti, people peeing on the side of the road.

it was a clash of modernity with antiquity.

but no matter how ignored it is, the fact that it's there will forever blow the minds of people. we just need one second to take a look at it.

italian stallions

when God was handing out beauty, He took it in His hand, looked at the Italians/Romans, and backhanded them with it, for full effect.

because, literally, i didn't think i saw one ugly person there. even the nerdy ones had appeal.

it was depressing.

europeans are also way blunt and horny. seriously, all the women there? they show A LOT of skin. and you get noticed A WHOLE LOT MORE if you show it a little.

my self-esteem hit an all-time low when i got on a subway packed with these german teenagers. they were gorgeous, well-dressed and knew it, speaking at the top of their lungs. seriously, they were so good-looking, even the okay looking ones were elevated to hottie status because they were in that group. and it was like a smorgasbord of good-lookin'! you wanted the nerd, the jock, the intellectual, the serious guy, the emo kid? each one had their own stereotype. it was funny. also a wake-up call that i had the ugliest mug there, probably.

another side note?

italians love beauty so much in their country, all the gondoliers in Venice had appeal, even the old ones. seriously. i think it's a requirement.

you want proof? they produce beefcake calendars of gondoliers and (get this) young priests. so, you liked hot may gondolier? what about january wire-rimmed parish priest of Assisi? unbelievable. and unbelievably cute.

i would have gotten it for several things, namely the good looks, the joke factor and the irony. except it was way expensive and you are ogling the representatives of the Lord. It's like eyeing Moses. which is wrong, i tell you.

"when the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that's amore"

my family went to italy last may 17-27. well, ten days on an italian tour? mother of moses, it is tiring. let's enumerate.

we went to the following towns:

viterbo
orvieto
siena
sangimignano
firenze
venice
and of course, roma

am i being pretentious using the real italian names?
hell no!
... well, maybe just a little.
but seriously, i hate it when people mispronounce or misspell names. and that goes for other nouns, too. all words, for that matter.

anyway, moving on. what was it like?

i loved it.
i loved it.
i loved it.
i loved it.

i loved ITALY.

it was mind-blowing. it blew my mind. it was like an orgasm of culture. okay, i could describe it better but well, an orgasm is like the pinnacle of enjoyment, right? that was italy for me.

italy is the one place i wanted to visited that would induce me to promise that as long as i could go to italy, i didn't have to go to any other place outside the philippines for the rest of the 80 years of my life. and since i'm 20 now and that's 100 years in total... well, that's saying a lot because really, how many people live until 100? i'll be lucky if i'm alive at the age of 60.

luckily, i didn't have to make that kind of painful promise and i fully intend to go back next year, backpacking with my best friend of all ages, miki. more on that some other time.

since i haven't found my journal groove yet and i didn't have internet when i went to italy, the succeeding blog entries are about my observations.

so read on, if you're interested.